The Effective Communication

If it is something about communication then it must be the effective one. No one wants to cast his pearls before swine. One Japanese word for 'listen' sketches a picture with a powerful lesson. It is a combination of the symbols for two words: 'gateway' and 'ear'. Using that mental image of words clothed in all their meaning just slipping through the gate and into the ear is a vivid illustration of effective listening to understand. First of all let us identify some common barriers to listing, as listening is the first step towards understanding.

Identify Common Barriers to Listening

They may not be tangible barriers. They may exist in your personality. These barriers are like garbage left lying in the gateway to the ear, blocking the entrance of the spirit and intent of the words that are being spoken. Following are some examples of these barriers to listening that inhibit true understanding of the message.

• Mental drift. This is just-pretend listening that covers up daydreaming or preoccupation with something else.
• Biases. Personal prejudices and feelings affect the integrity of responses.
• Arrogance. A know-it-all attitude of superiority overlays effective listening.
• Resistance. There is a reluctance to hear what the other person is saying; e.g. constructive criticism, alternative ideas.
• Listening to reply. Rather than trying to understand what s/he is hearing, the listener is simply waiting for a pause in the conversation in order to speak.
• Looking around. The listener is not focusing on the speaker so misses the body language that communicates so much of the message.
• Interruptions. The listener either allows or initiates interruptions to the flow of the conversation.
• Lack of time. The culture of a fast-forward world influences even important conversations.

First Eliminate Barriers to Listening

Although it may be difficult to eliminate those barriers but if someone tries then he may do this. The listener has to clear out that garbage in the gateway. Here are some common indicators that show the listener respects the speaker and really does want to listen to understand.

• Quiet space. A serious conversation requires a private, comfortable space without audio and visual distractions.
• No interruptions. The listener should encourage the other person to talk until s/he is quite finished the thought.
• No assumptions. It is important the listener does not anticipate or assume what the speaker wants to communicate.
• An open mind. The listener recognizes biases and leaves them outside the communication.
• Clarity of language. The listener needs to be tuned into the speaker's vocabulary and ask questions if the meaning is not clear.
• Acknowledge body language. The listener should be able to interpret the other person's body language. Is it consistent with the words being spoken? Are there messages of discomfort, enthusiasm, concern, or any other feeling that either complement or contradict the words being spoken?
• Reflective feedback. The listener should be able to summarize the key messages of the speaker and feed them back in a tone of voice that is not challenging or judgmental, simply matter-of-fact. It can be as simple as saying, "So, I am hearing you say that you would prefer not to work on the Dixon account because of a perceived conflict of interest." Such a statement gives the speaker opportunity to confirm or correct your understanding of the message.
  

In this way you may achieve your goal of effective listening.